photo from the fb page
Much ground has been covered throughout this ethnography but a main thread I want to address is how a self injurer lives and copes with their scars and cuts. Every person deals with it in a certain way because we all have different levels of comfort and self acceptance. In some cases people go to all lengths to hide what they've done because they are ashamed, embarrassed, or insecure. By wearing long sleeve shirts and sweaters year round they provide some form of a safety net for themselves. As we saw with KK, she was well aware of the fact that she would have scars so she scratched instead so the healing process would be quick and easy to hide. To this day she keeps any visible marks covered. She lives with those marks, they are a part of her and always will be. With KL she was more upfront with her experience with cutting. She began as a need for attention in a sibling dominated world and as she got older she needed something less visible and turning to sleep medication gave her just that. She lives with self injury by taking on a silent approach and one could argue that she's not living with it, she's surviving it. Some of her scarring is covered by tattoos but even layers of ink cannot cover an insecurity so big. JS was entirely different, he has the ability to go through life with scars and cuts out in the open. If someone asks about the marks he changes the subject or simply doesn't answer. His marks are like rings of a tree, they're part of him and he lives with them as a reminder that sometimes makes him and stop and think about what he's doing to himself.
When I look back at my observations of the facebook page it is easy to see that the page is used as a coping mechanism. A place where you can find uplifting quotes and pictures, helpful wall posts that get you through the day, and where you can ask for help and someone will always be there to help answer. Hundreds of members scan the page daily just to see what it has to offer. While the page itself is not a substitute for a therapist, it is a perfect place to seek refuge in between appointments, or during those days where you need a pick me up or some advice. It is an important factor in living with self injury. A typical self injurer is much stronger than he or she thinks they are. It takes a lot to go days or weeks or even months wearing long sleeves especially in hot weather, it takes a lot to hide behind a fake smile, and it takes a lot to be able to look at their scars and say I am me and I am beautiful. Every self injurer is different. They do it on different levels, different body parts, with different objects but the end result will always be a cut/burn and a scar of some sort. Self injury affects the body in multiple ways and it is because of this that coping is so important. The hardest part is being able to get through every day of your life with those marks on your skin and that is what coping with and living with SI is really about, getting through each day one day at a time because that's all you can do.
